Spanda: (Sanskrit) (n) def. tremor, vibration. The precise moment when the sun peeks over the horizon at sunrise; the space between the inhale and the exhale; the nanosecond in which potential is birthed into creation; the momentary glimpse of the True Self within.
Did you ever have a moment when you felt alive? No, I don't mean that your heart was beating, you were breathing, and blood was coursing through your veins. I mean when you were really alive. You felt peace and joy and that every fibre of your being was humming in concert with the universe. Of course you have. I like to call those "spanda" moments.
For most of us, these moments are swept under the rug of our consciousness where they are relegated as an afterthought. We skip over those glimpses of our True Self for a number of reasons. Maybe we don't think it's who society wants us to be. Perhaps we are just plain scared to be real. It's usually easier to live into a False Self that exacerbates the perceptions we feed it.
But eventually we come to a point when we feel like we are dying and that life is somehow living us. We feel no intentionality about living and wonder how in the hell we got to this point. Despair, hopelessness, boredom, are all typical symptoms of this giving in to complacency and the False Self.
This is not to say that everything we do outside of our true vocation is a waste of time. It may be akin to David Sedaris being a Christmas elf at the mall - it will pay off for something later. However, we can't make a life out of being someone we aren't.
As we make our New Year's resolutions and list out the goals to make us successful, take a moment to consider who you really are. Goals that only bring you farther from your True Self can only disappoint and drain the life from you. Pause to remember when you had a "spanda" moment. How did it feel? How much peace and joy were you experiencing? What was it like to have congruence within?
I want to encourage you to do the inner work to rediscover your True Self. Everyone is susceptible to losing sight of who they really are, and some more than others: clergy trying to discern their call and be true to themselves while carrying the emotional weight of those around them; caregivers wedged between caring for an elderly parent and taking care of their teenagers while slowly losing a grip on their own career and autonomy; the person in transition who has just lost their job or retired.
The list goes on and on. Don't settle for complacency. Plato said that "complacency is the refuge of those who have lost the dream." You have NOT lost the dream. Now claim it! As you prepare for a great 2018, Find Yourself, Be Yourself. Like Oscar Wilde said, everyone else is already taken.
If you are a clergy person, consider joining my Spanda Retreat: https://www.revcoachbrandynsimmons.com/spanda-retreat-registration
If you are a person in transition or a caregiver stuck in the sandwich generation - stay tuned for a retreat for you and send me an email or FB Message if you are interested in learning about upcoming retreats.